Spiderman 3 gets 4 out of 5
S-U-C-K
The only thing keeping it from getting the full S-U-C-K-S is that I saw it for free one day ahead of its release.
Ham handed comedy, action sequences filmed in confuse-o-vision, crappy acting, crappy dialogue, heavy handed moralizing, horrible pacing, and that is just some of its finer qualities.
Oh, I take that back - Bruce Campbell provided the only real highlight. I would say you should go see it just for his bit, but I am sure it will end up on YouTube soon enough.
Now that I think about it free was too much to pay to see Spiderman 3. Thankfully it also came with free M&Ms - two bags plus water equaled lunch.
I know that there are people who would have paid a mint to take my place in that theater. Believe me, if I could have found you in time I would have gladdly handed my seat to you … as long as I could keep the M&Ms.
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Looks like you’re not the only one to think this way. Slate’s response to Spiderman 3 is chiming the same way, but it does talk about some of the better points of the money in the end. Maybe that’s where your final ‘S’ is at :) http://www.slate.com/id/2165571/nav/tap1/